The End of a Relationship
September. 23. 2009 06:22 PM
it's always hard to let go...
This past weekend I got a chorus in my head and
hurriedly reached into my purse for my songwriting
journal.
I'm a paper/pen kind-of-gal when it comes to songwriting, cuz I like to write all over the blank pages--doodling, crossing things out and writing diagonally. Forget the computer--you can't do those things OR stick it in your purse (well, okay, i guess if you had an "I'm-the-size-of-a-coffin-Lindsay-Lohan" purse, you could).
Anyhoo, I realized that I reached the last page of this journal, which has been my constant companion for the last 2 and a half years. It was kind of sad.
For the last few days I have been trying to cram all my new song lyrics into the last page, because i don't want to let go--partly because i have so many unfinished songs in this journal that I'm still working on and partly because I don't want to search for another "perfect" journal that will be with me for the next 2 and a half years--it just can't be done! It really IS like a relationship--once you're done with one (which you've put blood, sweat and tears into), you're too exhausted to even wanna look for a new one!
I can't even imagine "replacing" this journal. It was given to me Christmas 2006 from one of my teens when I was the youth minister at Our Lady of the Assumption in Ventura.
It has traveled with me to Italy four times, the Bahamas, Canada, France, and all over the United States, from San Diego to Seattle to Baltimore to Atlanta to New Orleans. It has seen over 34 airports and kept me company on the 168+ flights i took in the last two years.
It has seen ecstatic times, frustrating times, joyful times, hopeless times. It contains songs that have been published through SpiritandSong.com/OCP ("God, My Father," "Joy," "Your Kingdom is Glorious," and "Blessed are You, Lord"), and hopefully a whole CD more of songs.
My journal doesn't judge me, regardless of how lame or sappy my lyrics are. It doesn't tell me, "hmmmm....this song is poop." (although, in my opinion--and Brooke Fraser's--all songs are like poop--some come out really quickly and some take forever)
My journal is just there when I have a great (or horrible) idea to let out all the thoughts that are swimming in my head.
So, this is my farewell to my beautiful songwriting journal. Reluctantly, I will begin my search for a new one (although I feel like a cheater), which will travel with me to Nashville, Germany and Scotland in the next few weeks.
love,
Jackie
p.s. I am completely rational and know that this is a melodramatic blog. I'm a songwriter, what do you expect?
I'm a paper/pen kind-of-gal when it comes to songwriting, cuz I like to write all over the blank pages--doodling, crossing things out and writing diagonally. Forget the computer--you can't do those things OR stick it in your purse (well, okay, i guess if you had an "I'm-the-size-of-a-coffin-Lindsay-Lohan" purse, you could).
Anyhoo, I realized that I reached the last page of this journal, which has been my constant companion for the last 2 and a half years. It was kind of sad.
For the last few days I have been trying to cram all my new song lyrics into the last page, because i don't want to let go--partly because i have so many unfinished songs in this journal that I'm still working on and partly because I don't want to search for another "perfect" journal that will be with me for the next 2 and a half years--it just can't be done! It really IS like a relationship--once you're done with one (which you've put blood, sweat and tears into), you're too exhausted to even wanna look for a new one!
I can't even imagine "replacing" this journal. It was given to me Christmas 2006 from one of my teens when I was the youth minister at Our Lady of the Assumption in Ventura.
It has traveled with me to Italy four times, the Bahamas, Canada, France, and all over the United States, from San Diego to Seattle to Baltimore to Atlanta to New Orleans. It has seen over 34 airports and kept me company on the 168+ flights i took in the last two years.
It has seen ecstatic times, frustrating times, joyful times, hopeless times. It contains songs that have been published through SpiritandSong.com/OCP ("God, My Father," "Joy," "Your Kingdom is Glorious," and "Blessed are You, Lord"), and hopefully a whole CD more of songs.
My journal doesn't judge me, regardless of how lame or sappy my lyrics are. It doesn't tell me, "hmmmm....this song is poop." (although, in my opinion--and Brooke Fraser's--all songs are like poop--some come out really quickly and some take forever)
My journal is just there when I have a great (or horrible) idea to let out all the thoughts that are swimming in my head.
So, this is my farewell to my beautiful songwriting journal. Reluctantly, I will begin my search for a new one (although I feel like a cheater), which will travel with me to Nashville, Germany and Scotland in the next few weeks.
love,
Jackie
p.s. I am completely rational and know that this is a melodramatic blog. I'm a songwriter, what do you expect?
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