This last summer I had an amazing opportunity to speak and lead worship at “ECHO,” a 4-day Theology of the Body Camp for teens at St. Joseph Abbey in Louisiana. The 3 days prior, I got to help prepare a group of young adults to serve the teens as hospitality, prayer team, and family group leaders. It was so beautiful to see these teens (and young adults) dive deeper into their faith and learn, through Blessed John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, who we are and what we were made for in this life and eternity.
Where our culture portrays a life of chastity as dull, repressive, and ridiculous, I experienced completely the OPPOSITE during the ECHO retreat, through the faithful and joyful witness of married couples, religious (both priests and sisters), and single people. In this video you can see the real joy of people who have experienced God’s love!
If you are a teen who wants to grow deeper in their faith, I highly highly recommend coming to this camp. Watch the video for yourself:
Birth Control? No, Self-control
When people want to lose weight, our TV shows & magazines flood us with talk about diet and exercise, self-control and moderation. People aren’t advised to pop pills, become bulimic or anorexic (although some people definitely do).
With sex, it’s COMPLETELY the opposite. Our culture tells us to indulge and gorge in every passion and desire we have, regardless of the harm it does to our body, mind or soul. People aren’t advised to have self-control and live a chaste lifestyle (although thankfully, I know a ton a people who do.)
I saw this picture in a friend’s post yesterday, which made me want to write this blog:
It definitely made me laugh. Why? Because it’s totally the answer of a person who’s living a chaste Catholic lifestyle.
Is it difficult to be chaste? Of course! God made us with sexual desires that sometimes feel like the fireworks of 4th of July going off inside us. Does that mean you have to lose all passion if you live a chaste lifestyle? Heck no! The world around us says, “Well, you’re an animal, go indulge in those sexual desires however you please.” That’s like telling hungry people to gorge themselves with as much candy and syrup as possible. Buddy the Elf could would like that, be we would get sick to our stomachs after a while. Reminds me of the scripture that says, “They promise them freedom, though they themselves are slaves of corruption, for a person is a slave of whatever overcomes him” (2 Peter 2:19). But what’s our other option? Do we have to become stoic puritans and shove our desires deep down inside, pretending we don’t have any? Of course not! That’s like telling a hungry person to starve. There is another way, a perfect way.
Our passions and desires can be used for evil or for good, for Hell or for Heaven, for selfishness or for selflessness, for sin or with virtue. It’s very easy to use our passions of ANGER, PRIDE and LUST however we want. But is this Christian? Of course not. The Catechism of the Catholic Church (CCC) says, “Emotions and feelings can be taken up into the virtues or perverted by the vices” (1768). It is much more difficult to have self-control with our passions, especially when someone cuts you off in traffic and you want to be ANGRY, or when someone criticizes you and you want to retort back with sarcastic PRIDE, or you are in the passion of the moment with someone you’re attracted to and are tempted to LUST. Our religion is not one that tells us to do whatever we want, but challenges us to die to ourselves, so we may rise with Christ (see Gal 2:20). Patience, humility, and love are difficult, but Heaven is worth it.
We have a choice. Our feelings, emotions, passions and desires can either dominate and have power over us (which is called “slavery to sin,” because we aren’t actually free to choose love and good), OR we can have power over them (which is called “slavery to righteousness”). The GOOD NEWS is that it IS possible. I know this myself, since from 8th grade I made a decision never to get drunk or have sex, and now am 27-years old and have stuck to these things. I DID NOT do this on my own. Only by the grace of God, through prayer, and through accountability of community, have my desires been transformed (and are still be transformed). Saying “no” to PRIDE, I am able to grow in humility. Saying “no” to ANGER, I am able to grow in patience. Saying “no” to LUST, I am able to grow in love. All your “no’s” allow you to say even greater “YES’s!” With God, ALL things are possible, even our corrupted desires becoming holy and new! If you’ve made A LOT of mistakes in your past, know it’s possible to be made new in Christ and start saying “Yes” to Him!
Be passionate for God. Long for Him alone. “Delight in the Lord and He will give you your heart’s desires” (Psalm 37:4).
Peace and joy to you, my brothers and sisters in Christ!
Jackie
“Now the works of the flesh are obvious: immorality, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, hatreds, rivalry, jealousy, outbursts of fury, acts of selfishness, dissensions, factions, occasions of envy, drinking bouts, orgies, and the like. I warn you…that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. In contrast the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control… Now those who belong to Christ (Jesus) have crucified their flesh with its passions and desires. If we live in the Spirit, let us also follow the Spirit.” – Galatians 5:19-25
What does scripture say?:
“Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, your spiritual worship. Do not conform yourselves to this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect.” – Romans 12:1-2
“I remind you to stir into flame the gift of God that you have through the imposition of my hands. For God did not give us a spirit of cowardice but rather of power and love and self-control. Do not be ashamed of your testimony…but bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God.”- 2 Timothy 1:6-8
“Whoever is in Christ is a new creation: the old things have passed away; behold, new things have come.” – 2 Corinthians 5:17
“For God did not call us to impurity, but to holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not a human being but God, who (also) gives his Holy Spirit to you.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8
Why GLEE is wrong about SEX
After I saw last week’s Glee episode, i thought to myself, “No wonder tons of teens think it’s impossible to live a life of chastity.” When all we see are people on TV acting like sex-crazed animals, with no capacity for the virtue of self-control, how can we think that it’s possible to live otherwise? We need more examples in our culture (especially in Media) of people who are LIVING chastity in all relationships. Hopefully YOU who are reading this will use your gifts to build the Kingdom of God and a culture of LIFE-GIVING LOVE!
Here are my responses to the some of the scenes in the show:
MYTH: Chastity and Celibacy are the same thing
The writers of Glee are already showing their true colors when they call it a “CELIBACY CLUB” and not a “CHASTITY CLUB”: they have no idea what the difference is between the two C-words. TRUTH: Everyone is called to be CHASTE, but not all are called to be CELIBATE.
Chastity is the “successful integration of sexuality within the person” (CCC 2337) and, thus, the integration of body and soul. We are called to live chastely in all relationships: friendships, dating relationships, and married relationships. While celibacy simply means “not having sex,” chastity is a virtue that is lived out differently depending on our state of life (single, married, or consecrated). For instance, chastity for a single person (like myself) includes not having sex (or anything that arouses one to sex), while the married couple is not celibate, but is still chaste (e.g., staying faithful to each other, not viewing pornography, etc). Priests, religious (brothers and sisters), and consecrated men and women take a vow of celibacy, which is, therefore, one way chastity is lived out in their vocation. See the for more on this topic (especially #2331-2356).
MYTH: Chastity is a repression of sexual desires Emma Pillsbury (Teacher and Celibacy Club Leader): “I am very inspired how both of you are showing how celibacy is a viable option for teens who simply aren’t ready for intimacy…and for those who are older and terrified of the hose monster.” TRUTH: Chastity is not a REPRESSION nor an INDULGENCE of SEXUAL DESIRES, but a FULFILLMENT of them
I love food, and so my favorite analogy about our sexual desires is Christopher West’s: The STARVATION Gospel says, “Repress! Starve yourself. Shove those desires back down because they are bad!” The FAST-FOOD Gospel says, “Indulge in your desires and don’t worry about the consequences.” Fortunately there is another way. The WEDDING BANQUET Gospel (which is the real Gospel message) says, “Your desires are good, but need to be untwisted and redeemed.” It IS possible to be transformed in our sexual desires and not just give in to every temptation we encounter. When we do this, we will be more healthy with the virtues of peace, joy, love, etc., than when we turn to the fast-food and get sick with lust.
MYTH: Chastity is stupid and only for dull/boring people Holly Holiday (Sex-Ed Substitute): “[Celibacy] sounds pretty lame.” TRUTH: Giving into peer pressure and the “everybody is doing it” mentality is lame
I can say that the most joyful, peaceful people I have ever met are people who live a life of chastity and know that God alone satisfies all our desires–not another person, and not any thing. Personally, living a chaste life has NEVER been boring or dull.
MYTH: We are just animals with fiery instincts/passions and no self-control Emma: “So I’m curious as to why you don’t think celibacy is a valid choice for teenagers.”
Holly: “Well, I do, I think it’s a valid choice, I just don’t think it’s that realistic. It’s like saying vegetarianism is an option for lions.” TRUTH: We are human beings who have the choice to love people as children of God or USE people as objects
Pope John Paul said in his “Love and Responsibility” that the opposite of love is not “hate,” but “use.” Sexual love is a gift of self and demands tremendous humility and self-lessness. Lust and use, on the other hand, are all about “me” and what I can get from someone by way of pleasure. I can’t stand when people say, “Teens are going to do it anyway, so you should just give them condoms.” I say in response, “Actually, I’m 27 years-old and I’m a virgin, not because of circumstance, but because of choice.” We are not animals, but human beings who are called to life-giving love.
MYTH: Catholics are stupid, frigid, and naive about sex Holly: “We’ve got to educate these kids.”
Emma: “I strongly disagree. I don’t think that we should barrage these kids with graphic information: they’re kids. I don’t want to steal their innocence.”
Holly: “Are you, like, some crazy Pope lady?”
later scene… Rachel Berry: “What about those of us who choose to remain celibate?”
Holly: “Oh, well, I admire you. Although I think you are naive and possibly frigid, I do admire your choice.” TRUTH: The Catholic Church has the fullness of Truth based on Christ’s teachings and 2000 years of Tradition and knows the GOOD NEWS about SEX and MARRIAGE
God created sex to be GOOD, and the Church is a steward of handing on this Truth. However, sex is like fire (to use Pam Stenzel’s analogy). Fire within a fireplace is beautiful, cozy and can warm the house. Fire on the living room floor, on the other hand, is destructive. Sex is similar. Within the bounds of marriage between a husband and wife, sex can and should be beautiful and life-giving. Sex outside of marriage, however, can be very destructive (as we’ve seen with STDs, teen pregnancies, abortions, etc.)
MYTH: Sex is only about pleasure and what we can get out of it Brittany (Glee member): “When Artie and I are together we talk about stuff like feelings.”
Santana (Glee member): “Why?”
Brittany: “Because with feelings it’s better.”
Santana: “[Sex] is better when it doesn’t involve feelings. It’s better when it doesn’t involve eye contact.” TRUTH: Sex is a GIFT of self and its two purposes are 1. PROCREATION and 2. BONDING of a HUSBAND and WIFE
Our culture forgets about the whole “PROCREATION” biological purpose of sex, and just wants the pleasure. The truth is, sex is for having babies, so if you’re not ready to be a parent, you’re not ready to have sex.
MYTH: Only experienced people know how to have good sex Will Scheuster (Glee Teacher): “Go out with me.”
Holly: “You don’t want any of this. I’m damaged goods. Yes, it makes me terrific in bed, but, it also means I tend to break nice guys like you into wasa crackers.” TRUTH: Good sex is less about experience, and more about the selfless, sacrificial love between the husband and wife
There is a bodily chemical called oxytocin that is released in both a man and a woman during sex. This chemical BONDS the two together emotionally. The more people you have sex with, the more people you are bonded with. Is sex really better with someone who’s bonded to a whole bunch of other people? I think not. (In fact, the only truth presented by Glee was this: Holly: “So just remember whenever you have sex with someone, you’re having sex with everyone they’ve had sex with.”)
Also, if you HAVE had sex with a bunch of people, you are NOT damaged goods. God’s healing power and mercy are greater than any sin we have committed. Frequent the Sacraments (Reconciliation and the Eucharist, especially), and know that you are worth more than your sin.
I wish I could’ve written more about contraception as well, but this was a very quick response. Go to for more information and resources.